Taking Things Personally: WHY & HOW NOT TO?

We see everything through a lens of how it personally relates to us and ONLY us, a lens that does a poor job of seeing the bigger picture. We tend to react to everyone else’s actions and words as if they are a personal judgment or attack.

A common mistake is creating a story around a specific situation that revolves almost entirely around ourselves.

Thus, other people’s anger makes us angry. Other people’s lack of respect makes us feel unworthy. Other people’s unhappiness makes us unhappy. And so it goes.

As a consequence of this, we feel offended, insulted, inadequate, and angry.

This is called Taking Things Personally. As human beings, it’s normal to take things personally every once in a while. We have egos that are sensitive at times.

When we experience an emotion or reaction caused by other people’s words, it means that we feel personally attacked. Our very essence is threatened but is this the case? Why is it so hard not to take things personally?

Well, it probably has more to do with how we look at a word than the word itself, people are responsible for what they say not for what we understand.

As a result of insecurity and low self-esteem, It is easy to feel unloved and unwanted when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with us in the way we expect.

If we don’t push back this senseless negativity when we feel it nodding our minds and spirits, it would end up controlling our lives. We should bear in mind that all people have emotional issues they’re dealing with, and it makes them rude, rambunctious, and downright thoughtless sometimes. They are doing the best they can, or they’re not even aware of their issues. Just like us.

In any case, we can learn not to interpret their behaviors as personal attacks, and instead, see them as non-personal encounters that we can either respond to gracefully or not respond to at all.

But, of course, this doesn’t come naturally. NOT taking things personally is an ongoing daily practice.

HOW?

Before all else, we have to realize that it is not all about us. know that people’s reactions and way of being are a reflection of them and it’s nothing personal. Maybe they are having a bad day, going through a rough period, or it might just be their personality. We have to accept people we care about the way they are.

Try to Have Empathy. Put ourselves in the other person’s shoes by trying to understand what the other person might be feeling, thinking, or trying to convey to us and what his or her circumstances are that may influence their behavior.

“Even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them. You know this is true. You may not be able to control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” — Marcandangel

Taking things personally has a direct hit on our self-esteem. It would be great for all of us to have some faith in ourselves.

Why do we allow others to define who we truly are when No one can make us feel inferior without our consent?

Changing our mindset is usually all it takes to start feeling better about ourselves. That inner critic voice becomes a little quieter that finally we decide to let go of the feeling sorry for ourselves and move forward.

Then, When we put ourselves first, we will begin to believe in ourselves. And slowly we will build up the confidence to stop questioning everything we do and will let go of taking everything so personally.

when people upset us, it is often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they should behave. The frustration we feel then stems not from their behavior but from how their behavior diverges from our reverie. Let’s not get carried away, calmness is a superpower. Let’s Try to Seek clarification before jumping to conclusions. A better option is to give them the benefit of the doubt. If they do something that confuses us, we better ask them about it without judgment.

it’s far better to be uncomfortable being vulnerable and have a difficult conversation than to live with an upset in our hearts. We should try to talk out right away by expressing our feelings. It surely helps in resolving conflicts.

Last but not least, let me guess. We don’t like people criticizing us? It doesn’t matter whether it is the boss, colleagues, or friends, criticism hurts.

Knowing how to deal with criticism is a huge step in stopping taking things personally.

If we are criticized, we should review ourselves and see if there’s any truth to it, maybe they are right. Even if it wasn’t said nicely, we can still learn something, correct and develop ourselves. “Take it and see the positive in it”

No matter who we are or what we do, there will always be people who dislike or criticize us. we can not change other people and all we can do is be ourselves.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” We Don’t have to change so people will like us.

Let’s be ourselves and the right people will love the real us.

When we stop taking things personally, we will find that our self-esteem and overall quality of life will improve. We better Commit ourselves to self-awareness so we can monitor the times that we are reading too much into a situation that has nothing to do with us.

Nothing comes without effort, so is stopping taking things personally. It does require awareness, effort, persistence, and time. It’s well worth the effort.

The more you focus on things that make you feel good personally, the less you will take things personally, and the more you will enjoy life.

TRUST ME! ;)